Seek

It has been awhile since I have posted anything. We have been busy on our spring break and I could tell you about our trip to Atlanta and the aquarium. I could tell you about our continued potty training antics. I could tell you some crazy stories from work. But instead, I need to pour a little bit of my heart out today.

God has been showing me lately that He desires my whole heart. As amazingly simple as it sounds, I know that He cares for my EVERY need. Because He loves me. I have had an intense desire lately to be that person who is head over heels in love with her Lord. But this is so hard for me. Complete abandon is not my style. But I know that He is calling me to enter into this deeper place with Him. A place of trust and solace. A beautiful place. A scary place. A place that is so easily accessible if I just seek Him. Can it really be that simple?

I opened this blog post today. And it was as if God was speaking directly to me. Seek Me First Jill. That's it. Everything else will eventually fall into place. Stop talking about it, reading about it, thinking about it and do it. Seek Me.

And you know what....I will find.

Life as a Minister's Wife.

I want to share with you some videos that Beth Moore's staff at Living Proof Ministries put together. While not all of these comments describe me and my life, I'd have to say that most of them hit the nail on the head about being a minister's wife.


The Life of a Ministers Wife - part 1 from stephen proctor on Vimeo.


The Life of a Ministers Wife - part 2 from stephen proctor on Vimeo.


The Life of a Ministers Wife - part 3 from stephen proctor on Vimeo.

My final comment is that I love my husband. He is an amazing man that God has called to do amazing things. For all of the struggles and challenges that go along with being his wife, above all I consider it a privilege. Love you JP!

A Different Girl

This is not the first time that I have confessed on this blog that Riley is not an easy child to raise. She gives us a run for our money every day. She is independent and sassy and strong willed and intelligent and funny and naughty all rolled into 3 feet of energy. Lately she has been having a grand old time picking on her brother. She has figured out that John Mark is a drama queen and easily upset. So she will push his buttons every chance she gets. She will take things away from him and scream like HE hurt HER. She will argue with him about irrelevant things just because she likes to argue. Last night she even told him she did not like him just to watch him cry. The girl is vicious.

But after every weekend of dealing with the two of them for 60 hours straight, Monday morning rolls around. John Mark heads to school and we have Riley to ourselves. JP is off on Mondays and I usually am too. And Riley is a different girl. She is sweet and loving. She plays by herself or with us. She sits and has lunch with me and chats all about her day. She doesn't squeal and she doesn't sass....until 3pm when the bus arrives. So for now, I will cherish my Monday mornings. Please remind me of this when I am ready to kill her on Tuesday.

A Special Place in Heaven

I am supposed to be cleaning my house in preparation for the arrival of my in-laws, but I had to take a moment to blog about what I consider possibly the worst household chore ever.....changing the sheets on the top bunk bed. Seriously, there is nothing easy or glamorous about a large grown woman crawling around on the top bunk trying to tuck in clean sheets. I break a sweat doing this job, which is why I don't do it very often (note: John Mark sleeps on the bottom bunk 99% of the time so don't think that I never change sheets around here!). While I was crawling around up there, cursing the man who invented bunk beds (and yes, I'm pretty sure that it was a man because they are usually not the ones changing sheets!!), I came to a few realizations:
1. I'm pretty sure that the reason that college students don't change their sheets more often has nothing to do with money and more to do with the abundance of bunk beds in college.
2. I'm thankful that I don't have a bed wetter who sleeps on the top bunk.
3. I'm convinced that in hell, people will have to change the sheets on top bunks over and over and over while considering their eternal separation from God. Meanwhile, I will be hangin' with Jesus in the special corner of heaven reserved for those who faithfully survived this task, basking in the forgiveness I have received for the unwholesome talk that came out of my mouth doing it!

Mother of the Year

Here are my top three entrees from this weekend for the Mother of the Year contest. I know that you would definitely vote for me after reading these:

1. During a discussion about fire safety at the dinner table:
John Mark: What would we do if there was a fire and we couldn't get out the doors since our windows don't open? Where would we escape?
Mom: We would escape to Heaven.
John Mark: You mean we would die?
Mom: Yes
John Mark: That's not being a very good mom.

2. My children know not to wake me in the morning. I have taught them to be self-sufficient as they wait for me to get up. Today, I woke up and John Mark had a blister from burning himself on the toaster. I guess I forgot to tell them not to use major appliances.

3. Tonight's dinner menu: Honey Nut Cheerios with Chocolate Milk on them. I'm sure the nutrition factor was off the charts!

I Must Remember

Note: Originally I tried to post this from my phone but it would only let me post the title! So here is my real post....

Today (Wednesday) I dropped Riley off at school and drove to Kroger to pick up some groceries. I had been avoiding going for a few days and it was at the necessity point. Normally, the parking lot is far from full at 9:45 in the morning, but today it was packed! As I drove around trying to find a spot to park, I realized....It is the first Wednesday of the month--Senior Discount Day!! ACCKKKK!!

Years ago I ended up in Kroger on Senior Discount Day and vowed to never let it happen again. But for some strange reason, this is the second month in a row that I have had to live through this nightmare! Let me preface by saying that I have nothing against Senior Citizens. For the most part, I actually enjoy them. But at Kroger on the one day a month that they are getting a 10% discount on their bill....watch out!

I have never seen so many track suits, coupon books, or slow moving carts in my life! There was a crowd around the free coffee. There were traffic jams in every aisle (including in front of the juice boxes...they are across from the hard candies). There were people with bifocals pouring over labels and prices and coupon expiration dates. Then I got stuck behind a woman wearing way too much "old lady perfume" who was walking so slow and I could not pass her!!! Talk about frustrating.

I have to say, that this experience is worse than shopping with two hungry children. And that is a HUGE leap to say that. But I'm throwing it out there. I would rather pick up confetti bit by bit than go to Kroger on Senior Discount Day! So now, I am setting the alarm on my phone to go off every first Wednesday of the month. It will alarm a rather loud siren to remind me to KEEP AWAY FROM KROGER!!!

Lent and a Sabbath Rest

This week marked the beginning of Lent. I am not Catholic, but when I was in college I started giving something up for lent. It was part personal challenge, part act of faith. Once I graduated I pretty much stopped participating in the "giving something up for Lent" ritual. But this year I decided to give something up. It is based on the fact that I have realized how much I really have and how little I really have to sacrifice.

So after much pondering, I decided to give up candy and Target. I love candy....all kinds. Chocolate or fruity or gummy or sour. It does not matter. Candy is a weakness. Especially when I am either at work or driving home from work. So giving up candy is a sacrifice.

I am also giving up shopping at Target. It is not a political statement about Target, it is simply that Target is a temptation for me. I cannot seem to get out of there without spending at least $100! And most of it is stuff we "need", but there is always that stuff I "want" or "just could not live without but never knew it". And especially with all of the renovations that are going on in our home, I have been at Target a lot lately. So sorry Target...I'll see you again in 6 weeks!

I am hoping that through making these sacrifices, I will be able to focus on the Lenten season and preparing to celebrate the whole reason for my faith. Easter is the greatest day of the year as we celebrate our Savior's resurrection. Without this day, everything would be meaningless! So I am trying to focus on that instead of focusing on me.

Ironically, I decided not to go to church today. I just needed a Sabbath rest. I hate that getting to church always seems like a difficult stressful thing for me. Getting up and getting the kids and myself ready in time is always crazy. I wish that I could peacefully enter church prepared for worship each week. But usually I cannot. And this week I just could not face it. I have been working more lately and have been extremely tired. Top that with potty training, renovations, cleaning, laundry, cranky kids, headaches and foot pain, I was ready for a day of rest. And that is what the Sabbath was designed for wasn't it? So I am at home, enjoying a day of restfully getting some stuff done and my life back in order. And a day of having my own time with the Lord. I don't think He minds that I didn't make it to church.